Feet in the Water

26 Oct

Wow. July 9 was the last time I wrote a blog piece. Thanks to everyone who has reached out. So much to say but I don’t know where to start. I feel like I did when I first started my blog in 2013—I didn’t quite know where to start but I knew that if I waited for the perfect time or for the perfect words to come, I would never begin. So this isn’t going to be a typical piece. It’s really just for me to dip my feet back in the water, to let you know that I am still here, and that yes, I am STILL sober. 1977 days sober. And that’s nothing short of a miracle.

I don’t have the energy to get into all the details, nor do I want to bore you with them, but I’ve been really sick for over 3 months. Exhausted, extremely weak, chest pain, difficulty breathing….was in the ER once and the hospital for a few days as well. I’ve been to doctor after doctor, specialist after specialist, and have had more tests done and blood drawn than I can keep track of. I’ve tried traditional medical routes as well as alternative. I’ve done therapy, med evaluations, energy healing, massage, nutrition and chiropractic. I’ve even changed the water I drink (which I’ll have to explain in another piece). I’m down about 17 pounds and my entire body is just achy and weak. I could go on…

As frustrating as this has all been (and I still don’t have any concrete answers), miraculously I haven’t wanted to pick up a drink. And thanks to my sobriety, I have been able to look at all this and find some silver linings. I’ve learned a great deal about myself –emotionally and physically. I know that stress is playing a huge role in all of this somehow. And I’m starting to learn that I have to listen to my body and make some necessary changes in my life. I’ve been overwhelmed by friends who have been supportive, caring and helpful. I’ve met some amazing people who have been through similar health issues and graciously shared their experiences and wisdom with me. I’ve let go of things that I simply can’t do and am starting to set up some healthier boundaries. I’ve begun to practice what I preach and have reached out for help. Not something alcoholics are typically good at.   I guess basically this whole situation has made me really reassess what is and isn’t important in life.

So there. It’s a start. I know there is a reason I am going through this. I know I’ll come out of it even stronger. I know how much writing has helped me in the past so maybe just this small start is a step toward healing….

Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity.” — Hippocrates


4 Responses to “Feet in the Water”

  1. Paul S October 26, 2017 at 9:42 pm #

    I hope you find out what it is that is causing you so much pain and discomfort. And congrats on your sober time! i recently has some wicked and very, very painful sciatica for a few weeks, and like you, I quickly realized what was and what wasn’t important in my life. And like you, I thought – there has to be something I can learn from this. I hope I did – and I hope you see something more than just being ill. Gratitude is something I gained more of!


  2. Christy October 26, 2017 at 10:25 pm #

    Getting your feet wet wasn’t so bad now was it? Before you know it you’ll be taking the floaties off and treading water. When illness strikes us it brings with it such uncertainty and confusion. Dr shopping become tiring and trying to explain over and over that there aren’t any answers yet is infuriating. Stress manifests itself in countless ways. But recognizing when and how it gets too treacherous can help us to set healthy boundaries and stick to them. We learn to ask for help and using the word no. No is a complete sentence. No explanation needed. Sounds like you are definitely exploring all your options AG. One foot in front of another, one day at a time. Before you know it you’ll find yourself back in the lap lane of a healthier you. Great new piece. Good to have you back. I’m so proud of you.

  3. soberinvegas October 27, 2017 at 12:24 pm #

    so sorry to hear of your health struggles. sending hugs and thoughts of healing ❤

  4. Bob Hisel October 27, 2017 at 7:13 pm #

    So good to see you at the meeting today but so sorry to hear of your protracted health issues. You are a strong woman. You appear to be doing all the right things. I would only suggest you increase your prayers to your Higher Power as part of your program to ask for help. I look forward to seeing you again soon and missed your blogs. Keep writing, It is good for all of us……………….Bob

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